Ellie Rengstorf
The Red Oak Express
Senior year. A year full of memories that are supposed to last a lifetime. The year that your last four years have been leading up to.
From being in the stands dressed up in that night’s theme cheering on your football team to feeling the adrenaline pump through veins as you run onto the hardwood floor of Wells Fargo Arena for the last time. Not only do you say goodbye to that indescribable feeling you get when you qualify for state, you say goodbye to your last homecoming. The last time you get to put on a pair of heels, look in the mirror and feel on top of the world. For me, these were all first semester memories that I constantly replay in my head. The ones that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
But senior year memories shouldn’t end there. I should still experience my last track season, my senior prom and most importantly, graduation. Knowing I won’t have the opportunities to participate in these events is almost indescribable. It almost feels like your life is on hold. Like you are in a movie and someone pressed pause but instead of resuming where you left off, you skip ahead to the end credits.
Looking back, the one thing I regret the most is taking it for granted. The days I was annoyed with my classmates and wanted nothing more than to go home. If I could go back and change one thing, I would change my attitude.
“Senioritis” is beyond overrated. It was something I almost wanted to have. At the end of my junior year, all I could think about was graduating. For future seniors, don’t try to have senioritis. You don’t know how good you have it until it’s gone.
Enjoy your classes, your stale lunches, your teachers, your activities and your classmates. These are all things I overlooked and now don’t have the opportunity to appreciate.
During this time, many people are reaching out and trying to help us cope. Telling us stories, sending an old senior photo or participating in social media hashtags.
Although it is all appreciated, there is one conversation I had that stood out to me the most. My mom’s friend called me and told me about her senior year and how she missed her state qualifying meet due to circumstances she could not control. She didn’t tell me this to try to put herself in my shoes and make me realize that bad things happen so I would understand, although I will carry this with me for the rest of my life, I will learn how to accept and live with it.
At the end of the story she asked me what I wanted to gain from state track. Was it a medal? Recognition? To prove to myself I could do it? Prove to others? What did I want from it?
I thought about this question and my answer is to feel the feeling you get when you walk into Drake Stadium. The rush of nerves when you step onto the starting line. To hear the constant roar of the spectators just one last time. Yet here is the kicker. Why can I only find this at state track? The answer is I’m just not looking hard enough.
If I wanted to feel those sensations again, I could find them somewhere. Maybe not soon, but I could eventually. So, this is what I ask of the Class of 2020. Take whatever you wanted most from this last quarter and still find it. Do whatever you can during this time to try to recreate that feeling. If you wanted prom get 10 of your closest friends together, get into your dress and stay six feet apart. If you wanted a state competition, keep practicing and train for something else. If you wanted your last choir concert go outside and sing as loud as you possibly can. And if what you really want most is to just be with your friends, call them. I know none of these are ideal, but it’s what we have and what we have is better than nothing.
One thing I ask of everyone is not to take away from our heartbreak. We understand that people have it worse. We are aware of the chaos. But we are still allowed to be saddened by the thought of not getting our last prom, sports season, concert or our only high school graduation. I have been with these people for the last six years of my life. Most of them have been together for twelve and just like that it’s gone. We didn’t get to say goodbye and hug our best friends one last time. We left for our senior spring break excited for the last quarter and in the blink of an eye it was all taken away. Let us cry, let us be sad and give us time to come to terms with what is actually happening. Because this isn’t a sleep on it and it will be better in the morning type of situation.
The last thing I would like to say is please keep your head up. I know during this time it seems impossible but we are all in this together. Take the time you need to be sad or angry and then think about your future. Be excited for the next chapter of your life and this time don’t take things for granted. Because we all know how fast things can change. While you are taking this next step in life don’t back down from challenges, don’t give up on your goals, put your best work forward and always strive to be the best version of yourself.
This isn’t ideal but there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.
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Covid-19 is difficult, not defining, says Rengstorf - The Red Oak Express
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