1. Who are/were the members of your core stay-at-home group?
Joe, the program coordinator at Waterford Youth and Family Services, Jill, Ezra, and Joe's Mom, Christine “Nana” Gingerella, who stayed with us during the height of COVID-19 from mid-March to the end of May.
2. What was the most surprising thing you discovered during the long days of confinement?
I was afraid we were going to get sick of one other, but the opposite happened. Instead of slowly succumbing to cabin fever, we leaned on each other for support, and were more open about the stress and anxiety we were feeling. Jill and I both usually work well over 40 hours a week when things are “normal,” so to a certain extent, this was a blessing in disguise. We haven’t spent this much time together since Ezra was born. Now that I am back to work full time, I honestly miss those “working from home” days.
3. What was the most uplifting part of being isolated all that time?
Ezra’s Nana stayed with us for over two months out of an abundance of caution. She lives in New Hampshire, would be considered “at risk” and to be frank ... is the best kind of stubborn. Knowing my mom wouldn’t let any of her New Hampshire friends help her, I insisted she come and stay with us. Before, my mom only saw Ezra a handful of times throughout the year — mostly on holidays — so watching our son really bond with his Nana made my heart sing. My Nana was a HUGE influence on me so knowing they spent so much time together was beyond uplifting. Just simply watching my mom play with Ezra and do the same silly voices I remember her doing when I was a kid brought so much love to a fairly stressful situation.
4. What was the most difficult part of being isolated all that time?
Jill and I are news/politics junkies, we’re both fairly involved in the activist community, and I am active in the local Democratic Town Committee. It’s hard to turn any of that awareness off, especially when you’re at home — it’s so easy to flip on the TV or tune to NPR and feel a sense of frustration and dread. Watching and listening to trusted experts be cast aside and questioned by pundits and ignorant politicians was exhausting. On top of that, the vague and just plain nonsensical conspiracy theories filling up local community forums on Facebook was annoying, but witnessing the slow-motion train-wreck that was our nation’s response was difficult and still is heartbreaking, especially when we see other countries, with less health infrastructure, less wealth, handle this situation significantly better. I don’t agree with either governor on everything, but I am proud of Lamont and Raimondo’s coordination and handling of the pandemic. We should be proud that Connecticut and Rhode Island are the only two states in our country with positive cases declining.
5. Did you have a special project you worked on during the stay-at-home orders? if so, please describe.
Oh, we went a little crazy. We did a bunch of DIY projects around the house — created an accent wall, painted our doors and shutters. We have rearranged every room about four times now, cleaned and recycled old clothes, went through the mountain of Ezra’s toys for donation. Jill and my mom bought me a new lawn tractor for Father’s Day, so I have been on that every weekend taking care of my lawn like a genuine old-school Italian guy. I even washed my driveway!
Ezra’s big on science and art, so we did some experiments with a kit my mom found on Amazon and did some great paintings! Our back yard is next to a small swamp area, so we collected water samples in a large clear jug and saw so many little bugs and creatures that were right in our back yard. It was super cool!
6. What was your go-to meal in the stay-at-home days?
I’m not really going to help my stereotype right now, but as an Italian guy, it was great having my mom around, specifically for her cooking skills. Jill and I both cook, but my mom insisted on making all my favorite Italian meals. And being southern Italian, my mom made so much food over those two months. if I had to pick a “go-to”, it would probably be the Italian Wedding Soup she made us. It became the “go-to” because I think she made about two gallons of it. We froze it in family size portions and it will feed us for a month it seems.
7. What was your favorite sweet treat?
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. We all have different tastes in our home, but it’s the grand unifying candy we all love.
8. What mundane things did you miss the most?
My beautiful and smart wife is truly an introvert, so this was pretty much her Super Bowl. For me, being a loud people-person, I struggled with the lack of access to my large friend group. It seems silly, but I am a handshakes/hugger/pat-on-the-back kind of guy, it's a part of my personality. Even now, as we tentatively get back to “normal,” I miss those kind human connections. I was at a BLM rally last weekend, and I literally had to tell myself not to hug people when I saw them. The struggle was — and still is — very real.
9. What was the first thing you did when the stay-at-home orders were lifted?
We cautiously went to the Mystic Aquarium, and we were and still very impressed with everything they have done to protect their visitors.
10. Did you participate in any distance schooling/games/activities with teachers/friends/family members during the stay-at-home stretch? Can you share a story about one experience?
Yes ... part of my role at Waterford Youth and Family Services is a partnership with Waterford Police in providing educational activities to students in regard to internet safety, substance abuse, bullying and other topics. We are usually in the classroom with the presentations, but we transformed our curriculum to be virtual over Zoom. I also head up the large municipal camp in Waterford, which unfortunately couldn’t run this summer. I now teach enrichmen-based camps over Zoom, like digital art and coding. As for my close friends, we’re all big into Dungeons and Dragons, so we have been playing over Zoom for the last few months. We've had to adapt, but it’s still fun and gives me a chance to see my friends.
11. How did you stay physically active?
The gravity of the situation hit us both at the same time — right around March 13 — so we ended up purchasing an elliptical machine for the basement, which we used during the “stay-at-home” period. We’re also big into hiking, and luckily Avalonia didn’t close any of their trails, so every weekend we were out with Ezra on a nice walk in the woods.
12. How did you stay connected with the outside world?
It could be a generational thing, but social media has been a big part of what kept us connected. I have friends across the country, so we have relied on Facebook to stay connected before. I’d like to believe we both use social media in a genuine way — as in, we don’t try to pretend to be someone we’re not. With that approach, it was easy to check in on people, do video chats and generally get a feel for where everyone’s head was at.
13. What soothed you the most during those long weeks?
The sounds of my son’s laughter — the kids is brilliantly resilient, and unbelievably empathetic. You’d think it would be hard to discuss “germ theory” with a 3-year-old, but explaining that “people are really sick and we can’t go to the playground because we don’t want to get sick” was effortlessly understood by him.
14. What music did you listen to?
For whatever reason, I really got into Cat Stevens. It was great when he posted those live performances on his Facebook. Also, Jill and I love Death Cab for Cutie, whose lead singer would play small Facebook Live concerts every day — that was incredible.
15. Did you binge any TV shows?
Of course; "Avenue 5" on HBO and "The Politician" on Netflix. We recommend them both!
16. Did you have a top take-out restaurant?
Cleats! I used to go there when I just came of age, but was pleasantly surprised by the quality of food as well as their take-out procedures. When we open back up, we plan on going there a lot more! AMAZING burgers!
17. How about your biggest frustration?
The comment section on any local “Community Forum.”
18. Was there a favorite board game?
Jill and I played countless matches of Scrabble on our phones — and as a family — and Shoots and Ladders ... Ezra always wins.
19. How have you been changed by this experience?
I honestly think this brought us together. We had to rely on each other like never before, and that made an already strong bond even stronger.
20. What is your message of hope?
My larger family, the Gingerellas, have unfortunately dealt with a lot in the past 20 years. The patriarch of my family, my Nanutz, always said “Better days are coming.” We carry that simple sentiment in everything we do, knowing that we’re going to get through this together. Ezra and I even made a painting of it.
— Interview arranged and edited by Nancy Burns-Fusaro
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