It’s the end of the year. Conversations about performance abound. Most managers will have to deliver constructive feedback to their employees in some form. And for many, giving tough feedback is the hardest kind of conversation to have. Here’s how to set the stage for difficult end of year feedback conversations. With these 5 tips, you can ensure that your relationships with your employees will only strengthen.
- Set an intention statement. A good intention statement will be something both parties can easily agree on. Here is an example of an intention statement: My intention is for us to both feel heard, to understand what worked well and what could be improved from this past year, and to develop a plan that we both feel excited about that’s also good for the business going forward. A good intention statement should not be controversial for either party involved, and should have an optimistic lens.
- Ask how your employee likes to receive feedback, both positive and constructive. Everyone likes to receive feedback differently. Does this person enjoy public recognition? A private thank you? An email? A gift? And what about constructive feedback? How will they feel safest hearing it? Asking your employee to set his or her own ground rules ensures they feel involved in the process.
- Agree on a safe word if things get too heated. If you know your employee tends to take things personally or get defensive, agree on a safe word to use if things start to feel too intense. Agree what to do if the safe word is used: take some breaths together, leave the room for a class of water, re-focus on active listening, or something else entirely.
- If things start to feel personal, apologize and return to your intention statement. If you’ve used your safe word and things still feel tense, apologize. Re-state your intention. An example of a good apology and return to intention statement is is “I really apologize if what I said hurt you. That was not my intention. My intention is...”
- Be as specific and future oriented as possible. When giving feedback, the more specific the better. For example, if your employee needs to work on his verbal communication but does great in written communication, point to a specific email he wrote well. Also talk about a time when verbal communication fell short and what the consequences were. Then, talk about how to use his written communication strengths in his verbal communication in the future.
Delivering constructive feedback is rarely easy. But if you use these five tools, it will be far less painful for both parties.
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December 16, 2021 at 11:22PM
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How To Navigate Year End Difficult Feedback Conversations - Forbes
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