In this world, we all must manage difficult relationships. Whether it be overbearing and overly expectant supporters, overzealous staffers, envious co-workers, potential challengers, or disgruntled constituents, we all have experienced and had to manage difficult relationships.
What is the secret to handling these thorny and difficult situations? We need to look no further than the advice given by a very successful businesswoman, Academy Award-winning actress, innovator, and mom, Gwyneth Paltrow.
When asked how she deals with adversity, Gwyneth harkened back to the very trying times when she had to deal with stepchildren, and she said, “it is almost like you have to embody the spirit of the sun and just give and not expect anything back.” Gwyneth truly wanted to talk about this conflict and the ultimate resolution, and I assume wanted others to benefit from this illuminating advice. She shared that this once troubling personal dynamic later became “one of the biggest learnings as a human being.” Perhaps this is a teachable moment.
We should all reflect on those words of having no expectations as we give willingly and endlessly like the sun. The most common complaint that I hear from politicians is that people who have been helped along the way never appreciate it, forget quickly about the help, or soon request additional assistance in some shape, manner, or form. The refrain “What have you done for me lately?” is all too familiar and all too frequently heard in the marbled corridors of the State’s capital.
In the days of old, if you helped someone find a job, the ask would be over, and that person would be grateful for a lifetime and would make it their business to improve that position on their own, after the initial boost. Seems simple.
Let me make this observation: I believe there is a segment of our population that is never satisfied with their current position in life. Those naysayers are forever gazing at the next branch to grab or higher or loftier job to covet. And these individuals don’t achieve the next level; they simply blame their sponsors, and friction inevitably is created.
If there is one single complaint that I hear most from the political class it is that enough helping is never enough and in return, they expect some gratitude or level of decent appreciation. There goes the neighborhood. Thanks to Gwyneth Paltrow, I think that we have finally unlocked the secret to sanity and survival – we need to radiate like the sun and have zero expectations of others.
The fact will remain that some will always be on the lookout for help or assistance and we should help as needed. In politics, that is our calling card. But do not have any expectation, and the inevitable disappointment will evaporate in thin air.
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March 19, 2024 at 11:05AM
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The O'Toole Chronicles: Difficult Relationships - New Jersey Globe | New Jersey Politics
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