It’s been a busy couple of weeks, considering that we’re supposed to be in the summer doldrums, a time when much of America goes on vacation or at least kicks back with a trashy dime (although now more like $5) novel or indulges in reruns of decades-old television.
The most strenuous activity most of us want to indulge in right now is lowering the windows and shades against the sun and heat every morning and flinging them open each evening to enjoy the late-day breezes.
But no, life insists on intruding. Changes keep… well, changing. It’s disorienting, at the very least.
Like Angie, you know, the woman with the List we’ve been hearing about for years, the one that’s supposed to have the best and most reliable plumbers, electricians and other local handy people on it? Just call good old Angie, and your problem’s solved. Or was.
Well, it turns out now that Angie’s List has been streamlined in what some pompous spokesperson called a “complete rebranding.” Now it’s just “Angi.” No “e.” And there seems not to be a list anymore, or they (whoever “they” are) at least are not calling it a list.
“Customers were confined and constrained by the literal nature of the name,” the CEO-not-named-Angie earnestly explained to a trade publication.
I really don’t know what that means in American English. But it sounds like Angi will still be a list of services, sort of a glorified Angie’s list, as if she got a new wardrobe and maybe a tummy tuck. But she’s still, when you get up close, good old Angie, the woman with the list.
Which, I now realize, I’ve never had occasion to use even in its old frumpy house dress, so I put my angst about it all down to the heat.
Now I’d like to relax with a good trashy paperback mystery. Or try to. But drat, Ron DeSantis, the bozo from Florida who desperately wants to get out of the Sunshine State and into the White House, keeps intruding with his continuing obsession with face masks on children.
The governor has called masks and other health mandates akin to “medical authoritarianism.” He once added that we may be witnessing “the most significant threat to freedom in my lifetime, certainly since the fall of the Berlin Wall.”
Okay, he was speaking on Fox, but, if he’s smart enough to be president (which, upon reflection, isn’t all that smart), he ought to be smart enough to know that quote wouldn’t stay confined to the Murdoch/Trump alternative universe.
I personally thought the construction of the Berlin Wall was the threat to freedom and the fall of the ugly thing was an occasion to celebrate. At least it looked as if that was what a lot of joyous Berliners seemed to believe. But what do I know? Maybe a Floridian sees it differently.
DeSantis’ latest feint against those impudent educators who would mask tykes against coronavirus is to try to withhold their pay. Nice.
A loose verbal cannon like DeSantis would never, ever be elected president by the wise American people, I tell myself. But I remember that I also wrote, in 2016, with great confidence and humor that those same sage Americans would never, ever elect another notable (then part-time) denizen of the Sunshine State, Donald Trump.
Speaking of Floridian bounders, I have to ask Matt Gaetz’s brand new wife — How low does a woman’s self-esteem have to be before she willingly enters into the state of what used to be called holy matrimony with the execrable Matt Gaetz, despite knowing, as the world does, that he has spent most of his adult male life treating women as nothing more than a series of mattresses?
On second thought, I don’t want to know the answer.
And speaking of answers, someone who does seem to think he has them all, our neighboring Massachusetts Congressman and ex-Marine Seth Moulton, who at least isn’t from Florida, is another young man bursting with self-esteem and questionable judgment.
Last week, no doubt to burnish their military credentials but without checking with or even notifying anyone in command, he and another vet lawmaker pulled a juvenile stunt when they hopped on a military plane to fly to Afghanistan so they could spend all of three hours “overseeing” the frantic evacuation efforts underway there.
And the icing on our Granite State political cake. As I write this on Wednesday afternoon, I’ve just learned that Matt Gaetz, the pillar of Republican virtue, is scheduled to speak to the Nashua Republicans Friday night at their annual fundraiser, unless Gov. Chris Sununu was able to head him off before he breached our borders – or anything else. Nashua mothers, lock up your daughters!
(Monitor columnist Katy Burns lives in Bow.)
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